1. The smell of coffee makes me want to vomit.
2. I feel more guilty if I eat junk food.
3. I could not properly celebrate FSU’s lackluster victory over UF. With beer or cartwheels.
4. All I have the energy to do is sleep.
5. My clothes are tighter five weeks before “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” says they should be.
6. The smell of…everything makes me want to vomit.
7. I almost sobbed halfway through checking out at the grocery store when I realized I was in the express lane and had a full cart. I seriously had to blink back the tears.
8. My husband makes fun of my burping.
9. I am on the verge of paying an assistant an exorbitant salary to remove any trace of chicken, cooked or uncooked, from my sight, smell and general vicinity.
10. No more running. Which translates to no more runner’s high.Which translates to endless grumpy pants.
11. I can’t brush my teeth without dry heaving. Despite all the unsolicited advice and pregnancy recaps from friends and strangers alike, no one seems to be able to relate to this one.
12. Clayton and I had to pull over on the second day of our trek to Florida because I was having a “I-am-so-tired-I-can’t-go-on-living” meltdown. A Yoohoo, bag of M & M’s and three-minute cat nap at a gas station helped dramatically. (So did swapping out “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo” audio book for some seriously awful pop music.)
13. Our life savings has been transferred to Planet Smoothie in daily $4 increments.
Thankfully, I’m well past the trying times of the first trimester and most of that list. Except the occasional teeth brushing incident (seriously, what is the deal with that?) and chicken is still blacklisted.
So far, Mama likes the second trimester burst of energy and appetite. And even though you will probably skip right on over them, much like I would if it was your bambino, here are a few snapshots of Señor/Señorita Coffee Bean. It has a distinguishable head, body, spine and limbs now, which is light years beyond what we saw at our first photo shoot. And we are kind of stoked.
Silly Baby Noa, dry heaving notwithstanding, I can’t quit you.