Reasons Why I May Resent My Baby, or First Trimester Blues

1. The smell of coffee makes me want to vomit.

2. I feel more guilty if I eat junk food.

3. I could not properly celebrate FSU’s lackluster victory over UF. With beer or cartwheels.

4. All I have the energy to do is sleep.

5. My clothes are tighter five weeks before “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” says they should be.

6. The smell of…everything makes me want to vomit.

7. I almost sobbed halfway through checking out at the grocery store when I realized I was in the express lane and had a full cart. I seriously had to blink back the tears.

8. My husband makes fun of my burping.

9. I am on the verge of paying an assistant an exorbitant salary to remove any trace of chicken, cooked or uncooked, from my sight, smell and general vicinity.

10. No more running. Which translates to no more runner’s high.Which translates to endless grumpy pants.

11. I can’t brush my teeth without dry heaving. Despite all the unsolicited advice and pregnancy recaps from friends and strangers alike, no one seems to be able to relate to this one.

12. Clayton and I had to pull over on the second day of our trek to Florida because I was having a “I-am-so-tired-I-can’t-go-on-living” meltdown. A Yoohoo, bag of M & M’s and three-minute cat nap at a gas station helped dramatically. (So did swapping out “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo” audio book for some seriously awful pop music.)

13. Our life savings has been transferred to Planet Smoothie in daily $4 increments.

**********

Thankfully, I’m well past the trying times of the first trimester and most of that list. Except the occasional teeth brushing incident (seriously, what is the deal with that?) and chicken is still blacklisted.

So far, Mama likes the second trimester burst of energy and appetite. And even though you will probably skip right on over them, much like I would if it was your bambino, here are a few snapshots of Señor/Señorita Coffee Bean. It has a distinguishable head, body, spine and limbs now, which is light years beyond what we saw at our first photo shoot. And we are kind of stoked.

Silly Baby Noa, dry heaving notwithstanding, I can’t quit you.

sono 17 weeks3 (2) sono 17 weeks1 (2)

sono 17 weeks2 (2)

8 thoughts on “Reasons Why I May Resent My Baby, or First Trimester Blues

  1. Heyyyyyyyyyyy!
    Hilarious! Wait am i supposed to be laughing at this. :-/

    I can’t wait to laugh at Charity burping…she hates when I burp.
    I don’t know if I could live without chicken, LOL.

  2. Ok so I love this post!! I now see what I have to look forward to. You are going to make an awesome mom just off the fact that you can admit all of this out loud!! My prayers are with you during the next 2 trimesters and I can’t wait to see what else comes up!! Little baby Noa is too cut already!! :)

  3. You’re not alone! I totally relate to the toothbrush-induced dry heaving!! In fact, the two times my nausea led to vomiting were caused by brushing my teeth. Your baby is super cute! We’re hoping to get an ultrasound at our 16 wk appt tomorrow…but the next one promised isn’t until 4 wks from now!!

  4. You could be a beautiful pregnant Model!! “Accept the beauty of the process” with laughter of course.
    Love the pictures of that little squirt.
    Love,
    Aunt Sally

  5. hahaha, ohhhhh this was a good read :) i was right there with you through all of that – except my vomit inducing food was deli meat. just the smell of it & gag.
    i’m still suffering over not being able to run :( i don’t know if it’s soley because of the “runner’s high” or the thought of having to re-train my body! ugh, so stressful.
    thanks for your honesty – i’ve seriously wanted to punch every lady that’s said “oh i LOVED being pregnant!” i mean don’t get me wrong…but come on!

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