On Saturday you turned two months old! I haven’t been able to write about it until today because last week was such a whirlwind. The entire week was full of errand running and events, and I cannot tell you how great you were throughout it all. You just went with the flow and either slept or happily looked around in every new place you found yourself in. You even sat peacefully with handfuls of people you’d never met, which let me relax. and
I love that you are so flexible because I am not a strict schedule kind of gal. Trust me, that bodes well for you in this crazy family. I would try to list all the people who have fallen in love with you in these nine short weeks, but you’d think I was making it up. Everyone clambers to get their germy hands on you, and while it makes your nervous Mama panic a bit, my heart overflows to see person after person adore you. If only you weren’t so breathtaking.
This month you started really smiling at us! You have to be in a smiley mood, which usually happens in the morning, but once you get tickled at something you will smile, smile, smile. You’re quite fickle, though. What had you smiling one day will just not work the next. What can I say–you are your mother’s daughter.
I tried to start working again this month. I don’t know what the heck I was thinking. Actually, I wasn’t thinking anything…your Daddy looked at our bank account. Many times you will be perfectly content in your swing, but I still struggle with wanting to throw my computer out the window and play with you all day long. To me, it’s simply not worth missing this fleeting time with you. But our mortgage lender probably disagrees with me. This could mean more time with BeeMa if I can talk her into my Addiesitting plan. I think she’ll be an easy sell. Her and Abuelo carted you around that wedding just as proud as they could be. I always miss you when I don’t have you, but I also really wanted some wedding cake, so it worked out pretty well.
We are entering an interesting phase where I am trying to put more fat on your thighs while losing it from mine. There is a constant tension these days between the disappointment I feel when I look in the mirror and the infinite gratification I feel when I look at you. I am trying so hard to keep my focus on the latter. You deserve a mom who is not preoccupied with a few (dozen) extra pounds and prefers to pinch your chubby cheeks rather than obsess about getting in one more set of crunches.
I know that a healthy, confident self image is going to be one of the most difficult, but one of the most important, gifts I can give to you, my beautiful girl. It’s crucial that I learn to quiet that self-deprecating, degrading voice in my head so that I can teach you how to do the same. But the funny thing is that you’re the one teaching me that a somewhat softer tummy is more fun to snuggle, double chins are entirely more tickleable and pudgy thighs are perfect for nibbling. So wise already, baby girl.
Of course the time has flown by. That will go without saying for the rest of your life as I crave the days you were smaller but eagerly soak in the different faces, sounds and developments of each new month. You may not believe me, and it’s certainly harder at some times than others, but I don’t take any day with you for granted. I recognize the miracle you are and what an inconceivable blessing it is to share my world with you.
From My Whole Heart,