Yesterday you were four months old! I promise I will not spend this entire letter reminiscing about that one day this week when you had a runny nose and slight cough and probably started teething and fought your BeeMa and I down to your very core about taking a bottle. That was also the day I started getting sick. And your swing broke. And a bee crawled up my pants. Yes, best day ever.
For our sweet circle of friends and family, hearing you cry a raspy, imploring sob and watching tiny tears trickle down the side of your face and dampen those beautiful lashes breaks our hearts! Mostly because we know it’s just not you. Your typical day to day personality is relaxed, happy, curious and pleasant. So very pleasant. I would add flippin’ adorable to the list, but that’s not really a personality trait.
Even when you hear a loud noise or see something foreign to you, your eyes grow wide and intent, but you don’t cry. You look at me to see what my verdict is, and once I smile, you smile. It’s like you don’t have to be afraid of anything if I let you know it’s okay. And that’s one of my most favorite parts of this journey so far. I hope that you always come to me when you aren’t sure about something new. I hope you always trust me that much, that my reassuring smile and kiss on the cheek will put you at ease in the hardest of times.
(Yes, I figured we should dress you as an elephant before you understand the concept of ‘”body image.” Embrace the chub.)
You have grown so much more interactive this month. Reclining on the boppy while I drink my coffee in the morning is getting old. At night, our usual plop-you-on-our-lap-for-an-hour-long -t.v.-show routine is no longer cutting it. After a few minutes, those legs will start a’kicking. You’re saying, “Hey guys. Even I’ve seen this Seinfeld three times, and I’ve only been around for four months. Let’s DO something!” So now we read more.You are actually batting at and trying to gnaw the hanging toys on your play mat, and you’re learning to sit up in the Bumbo. In other words, any hopes I had of not having a house overrun with primary colored apparatuses in every corner have vanished.
But I will gladly trade any of that other boring stuff to play with you. You are so entertaining, and your faces are downright hilarious. Whether you are smiling or figuring something out for the first time or letting us know you’re not pleased with the current situation, your whole face gets involved, from your eyebrows to your button nose to those pouty lips. So dramatic, little girl.
We have tried several times to encourage you to roll over. The ridiculous lengths we go to hunching over you cooing and begging you to “Come over here! Look! Everyone’s on this side! It’s so much fun on this side!” would make primo blackmail material. Like you aren’t smart enough by now to know that life is actually pretty similar six inches to the right.
As small as you are, I already have to consciously remember to let you do things by yourself. When I thought you were teething, I wanted to jam those teethers in your mouth while holding down your little flailing arms. Then your BeeMa sent me an email and it said to “let her learn to hold it and put it in her mouth.” So I put the ring out in front of you, and you reached right out and grabbed it. It wasn’t the most coordinated of motions, but it did eventually end up in your mouth. And when the icy ring touched your lips, your eyebrows furrowed like a true Alvarez, that itty bitty nose wrinkled up and you slowly smacked your lips against the cold rubber. You were learning.
I am blown away by these moments. I keep saying how incredible it is that you have only been in the world for four months but you can reason and remember. From the day I found out about you to your four month milestone and every day in between, I’ve been awestruck at the miracle of your life. Your Dad and I still cannot wrap our heads around what a beautiful and enchanting little person we have with us. I am so excited that I get to hang on for the rest of this ride with you. Thanks for being so awesome, baby girl. And don’t start teething yet.
From My Whole Heart,