Open the screen door or the maltipoo gets it.

I am non-confrontational to a fault, many times kicking myself after the fact for being walked on or a silent observer when I could have spoken up. I craft clever comebacks days later while waiting in traffic.

Since having A, though, a more assertive streak has been slowly developing. I don’t know if it’s entirely a  Mama Bear thing or the sheer fact that I have way less time and brain power to process 16 different hypothetical scenarios if I were to to say something in a given situation.

This newfound confidence/lack of caring can sometimes mingle with my pregnancy mind and exhaustion, and then it just gets silly.

Case in point:

Our neighbors on all three sides have small yappy dog-ish type pets. Two of the neighbors have two dogs each. Lotsa tiny but powerful voice boxes. Every time any of the dogs are let out, it’s a screech fest. Which is fine, you have a ridiculous, obnoxious pet, that’s your problem. But the instigators—two miniscule balls of fluff prancing around the yard behind ours—are the worst. They rile up any other dogs who may be outside within three blocks and it’s all out yipping pandemonium.

As a reference, imagine a combination similar to this:

maltipoo plus hyena

(Source & Source)

Normally Clayton and I just roll our eyes. I’ll let a few frustrated grunts trail into the back yard as I’m closing the sliding door at nap time because those punks have been let out and could wake Addison up. Beyond that, what else can you do? The other night, I found out.

It was after 11 p.m. and the back neighbors released those crazed rat mongrels. They screeched and yapped for 19 minutes. NINETEEN MINUTES. Almost midnight, our kid is sleeping, we would like to try to sleep soon, and there are two Real Housewives-level canine hissy fits happening feet from our room.

I was losing my mind. I walked into the yard a couple of times without knowing what I could do. I peeked over the fence but saw nothing useful…like a loaded BB gun within reach. The owners weren’t even outside. I guess I couldn’t blame them because wow, can you imagine having to listen to that nerve-fraying racket for 23 straight minutes? How annoying would that be?

Finally, I straight up lost it. Clad in my most fetching maternity nightgown and breezy bathrobe, I marched into the backyard, crouched down low by the fence and just started pounding.

I don’t know if I was trying to scare those pooches initially, but I do know after a few raps it became more about releasing a couple decades’ worth of pent up aggression. It didn’t really matter by then if they kept barking; I was responding. Sure, insanely, but reacting nonetheless.

Believe it or not, the owners did not issue a restraining order. Instead they let the dogs in within minutes of FenceBash 2015. If this assertiveness isn’t gaining respect, at least it might incite some fear of the crazy barefoot pregnant lady in pj’s next door. Either way, those dogs haven’t been out after 9 p.m. since.   

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>