Thoughts While Waiting Pantsless

We’re knee deep in newbornness over here, so it’s a good time to reflect on one part of pregnancy that I’m happy to have behind me: half naked waiting.

I arrived at my 39-week appointment about 20 minutes early. I was surprised how quickly they called me back, but apparently the nurse practitioner was not ready for me. The nurse took my pee and my vitals before telling me to strip down. I waited, partially undressed, for at least 25 minutes in the exam room. Here were some of the groundbreaking thoughts I had.

Exactly how many people have been pantsless in this spot?

If I bend down to get my water/phone/that gossip mag, will the doctor come in right at that time?

Why do I feel so hot even though I’m half naked? Am I sweating?

I should go ask how much longer. Oh wait, the pants thing.

OMG I have to pee. Again.

I wonder which of those long, pointy devices I’ll have the pleasure of experiencing today.

My uterus is a billion times bigger than that plastic model right now.

I am starving.

Why would they put a mirror there?

My feet are not getting enough blood hanging off the table like this. They are completely white.
I need a pedicure. And a spray tan.

Those nurses probably shouldn’t be gossiping this close to my room. I wonder who they’re talking about. I bet it’s that woman with the patterned tights. There is no way she should be that skinny with a baby that tiny.

No for real, SO HUNGRY.

Tale as old as time, tune as old as song…

Why can’t I stop looking at that horrible mirror?

We have a lot of doctor appointments coming our way in the next year, so any tips you have to pass the time are welcome. The more I think about it, strolling to the bathroom in the paper cloth probably would have been the best way to get a doctor in that exam room ASAP.

One thought on “Thoughts While Waiting Pantsless

  1. “If I bend down to get my water/phone/that gossip mag, will the doctor come in right at that time?

    Why do I feel so hot even though I’m half naked? Am I sweating?”

    I literally laughed out loud at work!

    Hilar!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>